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Preparing to shift gears and hit the road for the remainder of their eleventh season, the Ohio Roller Derby All Stars easily wrapped up their second consecutive undefeated home season with a blowout win against the Killamazoo Derby Darlins Kill Stars. Gang Green followed suit, doubling down on the KDD Killa Crew in the second game of the night to complete a 5-1 home season.


The magical combination of consistent lead jammer status and stalwart blocking gave Ohio an immediate advantage, as The Smacktivist, Lora “Outa My” Wayman, Blitz Lemon, Zee “Loraine Acid” Gulertekin, Val Holla, and Betty T. KayO snagged lead in 21 out of 23 jams in the first half. Meanwhile, Ohio’s blocking core held Killamazoo scoreless for the first 9 minutes of the game, only giving up points in 4 jams.

A quick succession of 3- and 4-point jams gave Ohio a clean 25-0 lead before a 3-3 jam put the Kill Stars on the board in jam 9. A back block call on the KDD jammer in the next jam gave The Smacktivist an easy scoring pass, and when the power jam flipped, KloverKill rained hits on Beaver Jam for the duration of The Smacktivist’s penalty time, allowing Ohio to pick up 16 points. Buns n Roses grabbed the first lead status of the game for Killamazoo in jam 11, but Kitty Liquorbottom, Stevie Brown, Jesse “Ava Tarr” Fox, and Gulertekin held her to a single point gain. On-the-line defense paid off for Blitz Lemon in jam 15, as she rocketed into lead status while Fox drew a track cut penalty on the opposing jammer. Lora “Outa My” Wayman posted 14 points for a 106-18 lead with just over 6 minutes remaining in the period; Blitz Lemon followed up with a 19-0 jam, sailing through the pack untouched as Chainsaw and Kitty Liquorbottom paired up on KDD’s Lem E Atom. Burnadeath forced Beaver Jam out of bounds before forcing a star pass, then reabsorbed pivot-turned-jammer Ophelia Plenty to give The Smacktivist time for a 27-0 jam. With Killamazoo held scoreless over the last 6 minutes, Ohio rolled into halftime with a formidable 164-18 lead.

The second half followed precedent, with Ohio snatching lead in nearly every jam and taking full advantage of every power jam opportunity. Multiple penalties to the KDD jammer gave Blitz Lemon a power start in jam 3, which she exploited with 30 unanswered points that pushed Ohio to 211 points. The Kill Stars made headway as Ohio hit a spot of jammer penalty struggles, doubling their points over 6 jams, but Ohio’s blockers shut down a KDD power start to allow Gulertekin to get lead upon returning from the penalty box for a 29-0 jam. Killamazoo gave up 2 power jams and 2 power start opportunities over the next 5 jams, and with less than 10 minutes remaining, Ohio pushed past 300 points with aggressive jamming by Wayman, Val Holla, and Chainsaw. Sticky defense by Elektra Magneto and KloverKill stopped the Kill Stars in their tracks as fresh jammers Kitty Liquorbottom and Bigg Rigg posted 25 and 15 points, respectively, for a 380-46 final.

Official jamming and scoring for Ohio Roller Derby were: Blitz Lemon (7-7, 85 pts); The Smacktivist (10-10, 82 pts); Lora “Outa My” Wayman (9-10, 67 pts); Zee “Loraine Acid” Gulertekin (4-5, 55 pts); Val Holla (3-3, 33 pts); Kitty Liquorbottom (2-2, 39 pts); Bigg Rigg (1-1, 16 pts); Chainsaw (1-1, 3 pts); and Betty T. KayO (1-2, 0 pts). Ohio obtained lead in 38 out of 41 jams and scored an average of 9.3 points per jam.

Official jamming and scoring for Killamazoo Derby Darlins were: Hill-de-Beast (0-10, 19 pts); Lem E Atom (1-9, 12 pts); Zuul (1-6, 10 pts); Protasiewicz (0-5, 4 pts); Buns n Roses (1-11, 1 pt); Beaver Jam (0-11, 0 pts); Weers Waldo (0-5, 0 pts); Ophelia Plenty (0-1, 0 pts); and Javelin (0-1, 0 pts).

MVPs for Ohio were The Smacktivist (jammer) and Val Holla (blocker).

Ohio’s All Stars are now 8-1 for the season. After a short break, they travel south for games against (35) Columbia QuadSquad Rollergirls and (15) Atlanta Rollergirls on July 30th.


Despite several skaters on both teams pulling double duty, the energy remained high as the second game kicked off. Paige Bleed drew first blood in jam 2 with a quick 1-0 pass, and TactiGal added another 4 points to the early lead. While KDD answered with a handful of points over the next few jams, Ohio’s B squad began methodically opening an untouchable lead in the first 10 minutes of the game. TactiGal and Val Holla helped push Gang Green toward a 36-14 lead, while Death CertifiKate repeatedly forced Killamazoo’s jammer out of bounds. With under 11 minutes in the first half, Zuul and Beetlejuice utilized rare power jam opportunities to close the scoring gap, but excellent defensive formations by Lawless, Amanda Adams, and Lil Spitfire slowed their progress. A strong 19-0 jam by Elektra Magneto in the last moments of the half tipped Ohio over the century mark, and the Columbus team held a 103-51 lead at the half.

Gang Green maintained a healthy lead throughout the second half, easily outscoring the Killa Crew 2-1. Quiet Storm, TactiGal, and Paige Bleed contributed to a 30-point gain in under 10 minutes, and OHRD blockers kept the opposing jammers occupied and out of bounds as much as possible. Utilizing multiple jammer penalties assessed to the Killa Crew, Val Holla posted a 30-0 jam halfway through the period. BrussKnuckles continued the momentum with an 8-0 jam, and with 11 minutes remaining, Elektra Magneto broke the 200-point barrier with an 18-0 jam. Whirlwind blocking by ElizaDEATH Rae, Death CertifiKate, and Miranda Slambert helped hold Killamazoo in the double digits until the last minutes of the game. A 29-point jam by TactiGal and 10-point jam by Quiet Storm brought the final to 251-117.

Official jamming and scoring for Gang Green were: Elektra Magneto (7-7, 77 pts); TactiGal (7-9, 60 pts); Val Holla (4-10, 53 pts); Quiet Storm (7-7, 24 pts); Paige Bleed (6-11, 21 pts); and BrussKnuckles (2-4, 16 pts).

Official jamming and scoring for the Killa Crew were: Zuul (7-15, 46 pts); Beetlejuice (3-12, 34 pts); Beverly Hells (1-7, 22 pts); Beaver Jam (2-10, 10 pts); Makilda Wormwood (1-4, 5 pts); Slay Valentine (0-4, 0 pts); Venus Killiams (0-3, 0 pts); and Miss Andry (0-2, 0 pts).

MVPs for Gang Green were TactiGal (jammer) and Amanda Adams (blocker). MVPs for the Killa Crew were Zuul (jammer) and Beaver Jam (blocker).

Gang Green is now 6-1 for the season. They will enjoy a brief respite before joining the OHRD All Stars in Michigan for a doubleheader against the Detroit Derby Girls on August 16th.

Pictures by: Matthew Hatcher