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Rolling with renewed momentum following their trip to the Skate to Thrill invitational, Ohio Roller Derby returned to the Ohio Expo Center to spar with Brandywine Roller Derby, a first-time matchup for the two leagues.

(35) OHIO SUBDUES (48) BRANDYWINE, 248-108

With 4 sanctioned games already under their skates this year, Ohio has begun to coalesce and fine tune their defense, giving them the leg up on the Brandywine Belligerents, who had not played a game since the 2016 International WFTDA Division 2 championship game last November. A short Brandywine roster also benefited Ohio, as mounting penalties and foul outs became an additional obstacle late in the second half.

The Belligerents posted the first 4 points of the game, but Val Holla lit up the pack for 18 points in the second jam, giving Ohio a lead that they would never relinquish. Three jams later, Slammerhead forced Lurz Lemon into a track cut penalty, gifting Ohio the first power jam opportunity of the game and a 9-point gain; Brandywine found their own power jam moments later, grinding out 14 points after Ohio lost lead status on a low block call. Blitz Lemon and Lurz Lemon faced off, with lead going to Brandywine, but another power jam and tandem offense from Lora “Outa My” Wayman and Zee “Loraine Acid” Gulertekin gave Blitz Lemon plenty of time for a 19-0 boost. A string of blocker penalties left little opposition against a 9-point run by Evil Beauty, and Brandywine continued to increase pressure, forcing Ohio to call a 0-0 jam. Sprinting up the outside line and snagging lead jammer status with just over 14 minutes remaining in the period, Val Holla racked up 16 points while Brandywine’s jammer struggled against a full Ohio contingent with her pivot in the box and no option for a star pass. Calling for an official review of the jam, the Belligerents won a power start, but were unable to capitalize on it as Lurz Lemon was assessed a back block penalty. Val Holla hopped through on the inside line while Brandywine tried to spring their jammer on the outside, and a grueling two-minute jam ended with just a 7-4 gain for the Pennsylvania squad. Finding themselves short on blockers and giving up another power jam, Ohio remained calm and showed their prowess at partner blocking, forcing a star pass and allowing Pain Train to outscore Evil Beauty 9-8. Gorges Curves quickly found lead status and ran with it for two minutes, easily lapping the pack and scooting through backwards in the final few seconds for one more scoring pass and a 110-48 lead. Brandywine tightened their defense, aiming for quick handfuls of points where they could find them and detaining Ohio jammers. Matching 8 points in the last jam of the period, Ohio rolled into halftime with a healthy 123-63 lead.

Some adjustments to their jammer rotation looked hopeful for Brandywine in the second half, as ThumpHER attacked Ohio’s defense to earn lead and 7 unanswered points; the first power jam of the period went to the Belligerents, but Kelsey Khaos drew a track cut penalty on their jammer before running offense for Val Holla on a 15-point scoring effort. A second penalty followed by an abbreviated jam due to a downed skater gave Pain Train back-to-back power starts, and a fourth straight power jam gave Val Holla plenty of time for a 10-5 gain. Taking the star for the first time in the game, BrussKnuckles evaded Belligerent defenders and snapped up lead on another power jam, taking a tumble and somersaulting through the pack on a scoring pass to widen Ohio’s lead to 162-82. With just under 16 minutes to play, Val Holla stayed in bounds on a toe stop to grab lead while Brandywine’s jammer went to the penalty box, sliding off hits and slicing through the pack for 21 clean points; Pain Train continued the shutout with a fast run out of the pack, challenging arms and pushing Ohio over the bicentennial mark, 201-96. Dual jammer penalties combined with hard defense on both sides limited Ohio to an 8-point gain, then Brandywine posted points for the first time in 7 minutes the following jam, but high penalties escalated into foul outs as Lurz Lemon received her seventh box trip of the game. The Belligerents would lose three additional skaters over the next four jams, leaving them with just seven on the bench, but refused to let up on defense. Pain Train raked in 17 unmatched points while Bigg Rigg forced Ballerinka into a track cut after receiving a star pass. Ohio was unable to exploit the power start, losing their jammer to the box, but Slammerhead, Chainsaw, Kelsey Khaos, and Betty T. KayO swarmed Evil Beauty, drawing out the initial pass and burning the power jam. Gorges Curves lapped the pack on three scoring passes while Loraine Acid caught Squirrelly Quinn at the front long enough for Paige Bleed and Bigg Rigg to recycle up to help. A 7-5 gain over two final power jams rounded out the 248-108 victory for Ohio.

MVPs for the Ohio Roller Derby All Stars were Val Holla (jammer) and Bigg Rigg (blocker). MVPS for the Brandywine Roller Derby Belligerents were Lurz Lemon (jammer) and Rapid ArrhythMIA (blocker).

Unofficial stats (lead jammer status, total jams, and scoring) for Ohio were: Val Holla (6-13, 109 pts); Gorges Curves (5-10, 55 pts); Pain Train (6-9, 48 pts); Blitz Lemon (0-2, 19 pts); BrussKnuckles (2-2, 17 pts); and Lora “Outa My” Wayman (0-1, 0 pts). Ohio obtained lead jammer status in 19 out of 36 jams.

Unofficial stats (lead jammer status, total jams, and scoring) for Brandywine were: Evil Beauty (3-9, 36 pts); Lurz Lemon (5-10, 23 pts); ThumpHER (306, 23 pts); Rapid ArrhythMIA (0-3, 10 pts); Bomb Schell (2-5, 8 pts); Squirrelly Quinn (0-3, 4 pts); Ballerinka (0-3, 4 pts); and Walker WrexUs Danger (0-3, 0 pts).


A weekend of rest between games didn’t slow Gang Green’s momentum, as an infusion of rookie energy and thirteen double-digit jams–seven of them shutouts–propelled them to an uncontestable lead by midway through the first period.

Quickly snapping up lead jammer status, TactiGal posted 5 points for Gang Green to kick off the contest, but Brandywine retaliated on a power jam to take the lead. Val Holla stole 2 points chasing Bomb Schell through the pack; holding Ohio scoreless over the next three jams, Brandywine methodically opened a 21-8 lead, but saw it erased as their jammer received a back block penalty in the seventh jam. BrussKnuckles pushed Gang Green back into the lead on a 16-0 run with well-timed offense from Kelsey Khaos and Ally McSqueal, and Val Holla doubled the lead, scoring 19 more points while her defense frustrated the Brandywine jammer for two minutes. A whip from Foxy Force launched Paige Bleed out of the pack on her initial pass, giving her sufficient speed to pass Squirrelly Quinn for a 5-3 gain, then a power jam in Gang Green’s favor provided room for BrussKnuckles to post 24 unmatched points. Calling for an official review and sending Gang Green’s jammer to the box on a forearm penalty, Brandywine aimed to exploit a full 30-second power start, but Paige Bleed forced their jammer into committing a track cut penalty to spring BrussKnuckles and expand the Ohio lead to 86-35. Locking down defense on another two-minute power jam, Amanda “Vyles” Adams and rookie LEAthal Weapon paired up to punish and exhaust the opposing jammer. Jamming for the first time for Gang Green, rookie Jessica Rabid toed up the inside line for lead status, taking Ohio over the century mark with a 15-point jam. Despite incurring five blocker penalties over the final three jams of the period, strong jamming allowed Gang Green to outscore Brandywine 30-19 for a halftime score of 143-68.

The Brawlers held Ohio to single-lap scoring runs for the first few minutes of the second period before losing lead jammer status over a back block penalty and giving BrussKnuckles a power jam, a dangerous combination. LGBTease pinned Chikki Sixx against another Brandywine skater, preventing a scoring pass, then TactiGal found lead and 9 clean points while the Brawlers pivot tried to break up Ohio’s defensive tripod to no avail. Patience at the whistle and a slow start to jam 25 allowed Paige Bleed to burn a little time off the clock and clear the penalty box of Gang Green blockers before sneaking 4 quick points. A last-minute bump from LEAthal Weapon pushed the Brandywine jammer into a track cut penalty, and offense from the front by Val Holla and Ally McSqueal aided in another massive 24-4 jam. In the biggest scoring jam of the night, BrussKnuckles stole lead and ran with it for the full two minutes, posting a 30-0 jam while the Gang Green defense thwarted every scoring attempt by the Brawlers. Kelsey Khaos and rookie Doctor Hookah showed Masten no mercy, holding Brandywine to a mere 5-point gain on their first power jam opportunity of the half and preventing all scoring by the Pennsylvania skaters over the next three jams. With Gang Green holding a pack advantage, Doctor Hookah posted 4 easy points, and Elektra Magneto had no trouble obtaining lead status in jam 30, with coordinated offense helping her earn 20 unanswered points while Brandywine’s jammer picked up two penalties for cutting the track. A missed defensive block allowed first-time jammer LEAthal Weapon to fly through the inside of the pack on the power start, raking in 15 points while Brandywine lost two blockers to the box, along with their jammer for a third straight penalty. The Brawlers managed to outscore Gang Green 3-1 over the next two jams, finally putting them in the triple digits, but their defense struggled to hold Adams on a star pass. Attacking the Brandywine wall, Ally McSqueal raced away with lead, then scooped up 9 points before calling it off with Brandywine’s jammer standing in the penalty box. With a very brief power start, Lawless defied all defensive efforts to grab lead status; Foxy Force cleared a path for a scoring pass before teaming up with Val Holla to devastate Bomb Schell while Lawless secured the 314-113 final.

MVPs for the Gang Green were BrussKnuckles (jammer) and Elektra Magneto (blocker). MVPs for the Brawlers were Masten (jammer) and OLIVE time&space (blocker).

Unofficial stats (lead jammer status, total jams, and scoring) for Gang Green were: BrussKnuckles (7-9, 132 pts); TactiGal (4-6, 47 pts); Jessica Rabid (2-3, 27 pts); Paige Bleed (3-3, 12 pts); Val Holla (0-2, 21 pts); Amanda “Vyles” Adams (0-2, 4 pts); LGBTease (0-2, 0 pts); Elektra Magneto (1-1, 20 pts); Ally McSqueal (1-2, 10 pts); Kelsey Khaos (1-2, 4 pts); Lawless (1-1, 18 pts); LEAthal Weapon (1-1, 15 pts); Doctor Hookah (1-1, 4 pts); and Foxy Force (0-1, 0 pts). Gang Green obtained lead jammer status in 22 out of 36 jams.

Unofficial stats (lead jammer status, total jams, and scoring) for the Brawlers were: Masten (2-8, 28 pts); Bomb Schell (2-8, 25 pts); Squirrelly Quinn (4-9, 15 pts); Lisa Gruhn (0-10, 19 pts); mErica (0-2, 0 pts); and Chikki Sixx (1-3, 26 pts).