women's flat track roller derby team in columbus, ohio - empowering women and gender-expansive people in sport
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In a night filled with success and emotion, the Ohio Roller Girls didn’t disappoint themselves, or the 1,000+ fans that packed the Lausche Building this past weekend.  If you weren’t in attendance on Saturday, not only did you miss the OHRG’s last home bout of the season, but you missed out on saying goodbye to two of the most dominant athletes to ever lace their skates for the Ohio Roller Girls.  Phoenix Bunz and Pippi RipYourStockings skated in their final home bout ever, as both skaters have decided to retire following playoffs next month.  Following the bout, both skaters had their jerseys retired, a first for the league, keeping any skater in the future from wearing jersey numbers 23 and 5150.

For the last home stand of 2013, (24) Ohio took on the (50) Carolina Rollergirls in a rematch of the bout they played last season in Raleigh.  Carolina, the only team to defeat Ohio last year during their WFTDA record setting 21-1 season, had significant roster changes in the off-season and slipped considerably in the rankings coming into Columbus.  As expected, the OHRG ran away from Carolina early and easily took the victory 432-29.  Ohio was so dominant during the contest that of the bout’s 32 jams, Ohio obtained lead jammer 24 times and scored double-digit points in all but twelve of the bout’s jams.  Their defense kept Carolina to only 9 points at halftime and only 29 after sixty minutes.  Every skater that was on the bench for Ohio wore the jammer star at least once.  The 432 point total for Ohio broke the league record for most points scored in a bout, and broke the previous record (387 against Pikes Peak earlier this season) by 45.

Within the first five minutes of the bout, the Ohio Roller Girls shot out to an early 34-6 lead courtesy of a 25 point jam by The Smacktivist.  Ohio then rattled off seven straight double-digit jams and go on a 136-0 run.  A nine pointer by Bratislava Bruiser ended the double-digit point streak, but Ohio continued to hold Carolina scoreless to extend the point run to 168-0.  With 4:30 remaining in the half, the Ohio Roller Girls had amassed an amazing 202-6 lead.  Phenomenal blocking by Bunz, Pippi, Amy Spears, Outa My Wayman, and Loraine Acid kept Carolina jammers Sheeza Freak, Ava Gore, and Fritts O’Frenic on their heels, in the penalty box, and stuck within the pack for nearly the entire first half.  Paige Bleed and Bigg Rigg would close the half with jams of 15 and 16 points to take a 233-9 lead into halftime.

The second half was just as dominant as the first for Ohio, as coaches Great Scott and BFF were able to work every rostered skater for the OHRG into the jammer rotation.  Typically, Phoenix Bunz, The Smacktivist, and Kitty Liquorbottom carry the workload for Ohio.  This bout, however, the three jammers only donned the star fifteen times collectively.  Blockers Kill Basa, AvaTarr, Amy Spears, Paige Bleed, Acid, Wayman, Burnadeath, and Texas Chainsaw Sasskicker all took turns in the second period on the jammer line as Liquorbottom and The Smacktivist saw increased time in the pack.  A flurry of double-digit jams by Bleed, Pippi, Spears, and AvaTarr increased Ohio’s lead to 370-26 with 9:00 remaining.  On the period’s thirteenth jam, Ohio’s Burnadeath scored a 25 pointer that took the OHRG lead to 395-29.  Burna’s 25 point jam broke the all time bout point record for the Ohio Roller Girls which eclipsed the previous record of 387 set against Pikes Peak at BrewHaHa this year.

With 2:30 to go, Ohio put Pippi RipYourStockings on the jam line one final time in front of the home crowd.  The 1000+ in attendance rose to their feet in appreciation for her eight years of dedicated service and gave Pippi a roaring ovation as she obtained lead jammer and tallied seven more points for her team.  The Ohio faithful continued their thunderous applause as Phoenix Bunz donned the star in the bout’s final jam.  Bunz obtained lead and raced around for three scoring passes as her derby wife, and fellow rookie six years ago- Kitty Liquorbottom, threw a block at turn four.  Kitty’s block provided enough room on the inside as Bunz ended her home career with her signature move, the apex jump!  As Pippi and Bunz closed the bout, not only did they and their teammates celebrate a 432-29 victory, but two storied careers that will never likely be matched.

Following the bout, the league recognized Pippi RipYourStockings, Phoenix Bunz, Foxy Force, Great Scott, and BFF for their years of service.  Pippi was presented a gift by Amy Spears and HellionBOI, the two remaining original OHRG skaters, as Pippi’s jersey number was retired.  Kitty Liquorbottom and Bratislava Bruiser spoke on the team’s behalf as Bunz was presented with her gift and her jersey retired as well.

Pippi RipYourStockings was named bout MVP for the OHRG while Elekta Q-Tion earned the honors for Carolina.  Ohio’s next bout is on September 6th in Ft. Wayne (IN) at the Division I playoffs against the Arch Rival Roller Girls.

Jamming for Ohio were:  Phoenix Bunz (4-5, 76 pts), The Smacktivist (4-4, 73 pts), Pippi RipYourStockings (3-3, 50 pts), Kitty Liquorbottom (3-6, 49 pts), Bigg Rigg (2-2, 41 pts), Paige Bleed (2-2, 37 pts), Outa My Wayman (1-2, 25 pts), Burnadeath (1-1, 25 pts), AvaTarr (0-1, 17 pts), Amy Spears (1-1, 15 pts), Texas Chainsaw Sasskicker (1-1, 15 pts), Bratislava Bruiser (2-2, 9 pts), Loraine Acid (0-1, 0 pts), and Kill Basa (0-1, 0 pts).  Ohio obtained lead jammer twenty-four times and were on nine power jams.

Jamming for the Carolina Rollergirls were:  Sheeza Freak (3-8, 13 pts), Ava Gore (1-7, 5 pts), MC Fyte (0-1, 5 pts), Beth Row (1-3, 3 pts), Katie Clysmic (0-3, 3 pts), Fritts O’Frenic (0-4, 0 pts), Daisy Rage (0-1, 0 pts), Caddy Compton (0-2, 0 pts), Zella Lugosi (0-2, 0 pts), and Slingin Gritz (0-2, 0 pts).  Carolina obtained lead jammer five times and had four power jams.

Andrew Marron