OHRG Goes 1-1 on the Road
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OHRG Goes 1-1 on the Road

The (23) Ohio Roller Girls ended their 1,050 mile road trip with a decisive victory at Richmond (VA) over River City’s Poe’s Punishers 278-68, and with a disheartening loss in Baltimore (MD) to the (12) Charm City All-Stars 132-232.


Under the new divisional system the WFTDA has established this season, the Ohio Roller Girls are comfortably within the top 40 teams that make up Division I.  Currently ranked #75, River City is in Division II, needing to climb as high as #40 in order to qualify for the Division I playoffs.  A victory, or close loss, would have moved River City closer to that divisional cutoff.  The dreams of an upset over higher-ranked Ohio would not be in the cards for Poe’s Punishers as OHRG dominated the bout both physically, on the penalty board, and – most importantly – on the scoreboard.

Ohio started the bout quickly as The Smacktivist scored the first of many double-digit jams throughout the contest, a twelve-pointer in the second jam that gave Ohio the lead 15-1.  Points were at a premium over the next six jams, but OHRG continued to lead 22-7 with 22:15 remaining in the first period.  A fifteen point jam by Kitty Liquorbottom increased Ohio’s lead to 37-7 on the following jam.  Points again were scattered over the following four minutes until a track cut penalty was called on River City jammer Paris Kills.

Unopposed and without lead jammer status, Ohio’s Loraine Acid had nothing but time to rack up as many points as she could until the natural conclusion of the jam.  An apex jump at turn two allowed Acid to rattle off twenty-four points for the visiting squad, and extended Ohio’s lead to 75-14 with 12:30 remaining.

Paris Kills made up for her earlier penalty as she scored nine unanswered courtesy of a track cut by Ohio’s HellionBOI, cutting their deficit to 80-23.  The final four minutes of the period saw a flurry of action as The Smacktivist scored nineteen points as her blocking crew of KillBasa, Pippi RipYourStockings, Amy Spears, and Phoenix Bunz held Honey Ryder on her initial pass the entire two-minute jam.

The final jam pitted Loraine Acid against River City’s Lucifer Ball.  Lucifer Ball was sent to the box for a cut, but was followed shortly thereafter by Acid who was also called for cutting the track.  Once released from the box, Lucifer Ball picked up an immediate back block and had to return to the penalty box.  Released, Acid made two scoring passes for ten points, and took Ohio into halftime with a 118-35 lead.

The second half was just as dominant for Ohio, as the OHRG blockers held River City jammers to only six lead jammer opportunities out of the half’s nineteen jams.  Ohio’s Phoenix Bunz started the second half unopposed as Lucifer Ball continued to serve time in the box for her first-half back block.  Things went from bad to worse for River City as they quickly found two of their blockers in the box, which created a four-on-two pack in favor of Ohio.  Phoenix used her blockers, made seven scoring passes for thirty-four points, and gave Ohio a triple-digit lead out of the break 152-35.

Ohio outscored River City 14-11 over the next six jams and led 166-46 with 21:15 remaining in the bout.  A track cut to River City’s Pinky Tuscadero then led to a ten point pass for Ohio’s Bigg Rigg.  Starting unopposed, HellionBOI kicked off the following jam by scoring nine.  She then passed the starred helmet cover to her pivot, Loraine Acid, who then scored eleven of her own.

Kitty Liquorbottom took Ohio over the 200 point mark in the subsequent jam following a four-pointer.  With 14:00 remaining, The Smacktivist scored fifteen before being called off for a back block, which took Ohio’s lead to 215-51.  Three consecutive lead jammer opportunities for River City’s Paris Kills, Forty Ounce Bounce, and Raven Darkhold created a 12-0 run for the Punishers.

However, in the following jam, Forty Ounce Bounce was held on her initial pass by Ohio’s staunch defense.  During this time, The Smacktivist racked up natural power jams and scored forty points.  Her forty-pointer ties her with teammates Kitty Liquorbottom and Loraine Acid, all of whom share 4th place for most points scored during a single jam in a WFTDA sanctioned bout.  That jam also put The Smacktivist over 100 points for the bout, securing her third 100-pointer of the season and fourth of her short career.

Bigg Rigg followed with nineteen of her own, and extended Ohio’s lead to 274-63 with 3:15 remaining.  The bout ended three jams later and Ohio increased their 2013 record to 7-0 with the 278-68 victory over host River City.  Most Valuable Jammers and Blockers were named for each team with The Smacktivist and Loraine Acid taking home the awards for Ohio.  Forty Ounce Bounce and Norah P. Neffrin shared the accolades for River City.

Jamming for the Ohio Roller Girls were:  The Smacktivist (9-14, 115 points), Loraine Acid (0-6, 45 points), Phoenix Bunz (4-4, 44 points), Bigg Rigg (2-3, 29 points), Kitty Liquorbottom (5-9, 27 points), HellionBOI (3-6, 18 points), and Paige Bleed (1-1, 0 points).  Ohio obtained lead jammer twenty-four times and enjoyed seven power jams.  As a team, they were called for twenty-one penalties.

Jamming for River City’s Poe’s Punishers were:  Paris Kills (4-6, 25 points), Forty Ounce Bounce (5-9, 19 points), Raven Darkhold (3-5, 9 points), Pinky Tuscadero (0-4, 6 points), Traumagotchi (3-4, 5 points), Lucifer Ball (0-3, 2 points), Honey Ryder (1-9, 2 points), and Norah P. Neffrin (0-1, 0 points).  River City obtained lead jammer sixteen times and benefited from six power jams.  They were called for thirty-six penalties.


In Ohio’s toughest bout this season, it truly was a tale of two halves.  The bout was square going into halftime, 92-92, but Charm City was able to outscore Ohio 140-40 in the second half by obtaining lead jammer 19 of the half’s 24 jams. Charm City’s I.M. Pain jammed an incredible twenty-one times, obtained lead sixteen times, and scored 165 points for her efforts.

The bout started well for Ohio as Phoenix Bunz quickly called the jam after securing a 3-0 advantage.  The Smacktivist followed suit and added four, taking Ohio to 7-0.  I.M. Pain scored the first eleven points for the home squad (jams of 2 and 9) as Ohio was able to match with five of their own.

Phoenix Bunz then scored an 11-3, keeping Ohio ahead 23-14 with 22:30 remaining.  The following jam, the bout’s seventh, provided the only lead change of the contest.  With I.M. Pain toeing the jammer line against The Smacktivist, Charm’s defensive crew showed once again why they are one of the best in the world.  The Smacktivist was held on her initial pass for the entire two minute jam as I.M. Pain made seven scoring passes for thirty-four points.  Pain’s jam swung the scoreboard in Charm’s favor 48-23.  Ohio’s jammers were held scoreless over the next three jams, but good blocking minimized the damage by only allowing Charm to post nine unanswered.

With 15:15 remaining, I.M. Pain added another double-digit jam, this time a fourteen-pointer, to stretch the lead to 71-26.  After an Ohio timeout, OHRG jammer HellionBOI scored 20-0 courtesy of a Nuckin’ Futz track cut.  Unopposed on the following jam, Phoenix Bunz used a stellar inside block by Amy Spears to jump the apex at turn one for an additional 13-0.  Ohio had cut the deficit to twelve points with 12:00 remaining.  Points were nickel-and-dimed over the next three jams, but Charm held the lead 85-64.

A back block to Charm’s Holly GoHardly provided a power jam for The Smacktivist as Ohio looked to possibly re-take the lead.  Unfortunately for Ohio, Charm’s Lady Quebeaum, Quickshot Kitty, and Loretta Scars held The Smacktivist to only ten points, and clung to an eleven point lead.  With 03:00 remaining in the half, Holly GoHardly’s fifth trip to the box provided another opportunity for Ohio.

After scoring five points, Kitty Liquorbottom passed the star to pivot Bratislava Bruiser who added ten of her own.  A power start for Phoenix Bunz on the half’s final jam added a 3-0 for Ohio, thus tying the bout at 92 heading into halftime.  Ohio obtained lead one more time than Charm in the first half, 10-9, and benefited from two additional power jams.

As if another Charm City team exited the locker room for the second half, the Baltimore squad absolutely dominated the remaining thirty minutes.  Perfect walls formed by O’Chit, Battery Operated, Free Radical, Feral Kat, Uvetta Work, and Quebeaum provided their jamming trio of I.M Pain, Allie B. Back, and Just Carol plenty of time to work their way through the pack to earn lead.

In fact, Ohio jammers were only able to obtain lead once in the half’s first eighteen jams, which covered 13:45 of the period.  A forearm penalty toThe Smacktivist on jam seven allowed I.M. Pain to score 30-0 as the pack also quickly became a Charm 4-2 advantage.  Two jams later, Pain again took advantage of a power jam, scoring eleven.  What had been a tie bout at halftime had become a 169-94 lead with 18:30 left.

Between jams 6-13, Charm held Ohio scoreless as they posted a 66-0 run.  With 13:30 remaining Charm had doubled-up the Columbus squad 188-94.  In what appeared to be Pain’s only fault of the contest, she was then called for a cut on the fourteenth jam, allowing Ohio’s defense the opportunity to only have to worry about the other blockers on the track.

Ohio’s Outa My Wayman, Loraine Acid, Amy Spears, Phoenix Bunz, Pippi RipYourStockings, and Bratislava Bruiser helped The Smacktivist score twenty, then three additional on the following jam.  Ohio would be held scoreless though over the next three jams as Charm continued to obtain lead.  With 06:15 left, the ladies in yellow and black led 204-117.  A series of three jams in a row provided lead jammer for Ohio.

Good pack play by Kill Basa, Ava Tarr, and Pippi RipYourStockings allowed Ohio to outscore Charm 11-0 to cut into the lead 204-128 with 04:00 remaining.  A Charm City timeout refocused the home team as they scored two consecutive 4-0 jams.  A low block by jammer Phoenix Bunz on the bout’s final jam allowed I.M. Pain to cushion her stats, as she posted a 20-4 advantage to close the contest.

As the final whistle blew, Charm City proved once again why they are a team to contend with every year.  The 232-132 victory boosts Charm’s record in 2013 to 2-2.  Up next for Charm City is a May 11th bout against Columbia.  Ohio falls to 7-1 in 2013 and will travel to Arch Rival on May 5th in a rematch of last year’s matchup at Thrill of the Spill.

Jamming for Ohio were:  The Smacktivist (7-18, 54 points), Phoenix Bunz (6-13, 40 points), HellionBOI (1-1, 20 points), Bratislava Bruiser (0-1, 10 points), and Kitty Liquorbottom (1-11, 8 points).  Ohio obtained lead fifteen times and benefited from five power jams.

Jamming for Charm City were:  I.M. Pain (16-21, 165 points), Just Carol (5-7, 34 points), Allie B. Back (4-8, 15 points), Nuckin’ Futz (2-6, 11 points), and Holly GoHardly (1-3, 7 points).  Charm City obtained lead twenty-eight times and enjoyed seven power jams.

River City photos are courtesy of Mike Boycourt, MBS Photography. See full set here.

Charm City photos are courtesy of Tyler Shaw, Derby Photography. See full set here.

Andrew Marron