How did you get into derby?
I was in a weird place after I graduated from college. I was doing some proverbial “soul searching” and I wanted something new in my life. I didn’t even know derby existed in Columbus until I was talking to a friend about Whip It and he said, “Did you know there is a team here in Columbus?” The rest is history.
What is the story behind your derby name?
It was a recommendation from a friend. It’s a little bit of a play on my last name (mostly just the spelling) and, obviously, my size.
What is your favorite position to play on the track?
In the days of pivot starts and simple 4-across walls, I would have said jammer. But these days, I’ve been having more success (and therefore, more enjoyment) as a blocker. I’m not sure my jamming skills are cut out for scrum starts and diamond walls.
Any honors you have received while being with OHRG?
I’ve received a few awards at our annual banquets, but I’m most proud of is the award I was given for my ability to spit sick rhymes. This year, I’m campaigning pretty hard to win the Dynamic Duo Award alongside my PIC, Burnadeath.
How do you prepare for a bout?
I have a pretty strict home-game routine. I wake up around 8:00 and eat 4 eggs with 2 pieces of toast for breakfast. I then do some combination of skate/wheel cleaning and nervous pacing throughout my house. Around 2:00, I head to the Cornerstone Deli and eat a teriyaki chicken bowl with extra teriyaki. An hour before the game, Burnadeath and I perform a game-day ritual consisting of 5-Hour Energy, eye black, and a courage essential oil. If you caught last month’s featured skater, you would have known about that last bit.
What are some goals you have for next season?
This will be my first season as a member of the OHRG Training Committee. My biggest goal for the season is to not suck at that.
Do you have any hobbies?
People have time for other hobbies?!
Do you have any jobs do you have with OHRG, if so what are they?
During the 2015 season, I was the head safety officer, which meant I did a lot of fetching for ice. I was OK at that. This year, I’ll be on the training committee (mentioned above). Hopefully I’m at least as good at that as I was at getting ice packs.
What has been your favorite memory so far while playing with OHRG?
Going jammer-on-jammer against Suzy Hotrod when we played Gotham in 2013. The game, as a whole, was pretty miserable. At one point, I spent an entire 2-minute jam trying push their wall and I only got to turn 2. Turn 2! That’s it! But, in a separate jam, I managed to break the pack just a second before her (she may have already been on her scoring pass), and tried to slow down to sheriff her. I never did sheriff her. In fact, all I really did was slow down in front of her, but for that brief moment, the whole building went crazy. It was one of the greatest moments in my life. … I bet she doesn’t even remember it.
Is there any derby gear that you can’t live without?
I’m pretty equipment-illiterate. I don’t do any skate maintenance and I don’t spend any time tightening this or loosening that. All I know is I’m like Bambi on skinny wheels and I recently ordered a Chaya plate, which I’m pretty excited about.
What is your favorite color?
Lastly, what is some advice for those that are interested in skating or trying out?
If you don’t pee yourself just a little bit, you’re not playing hard enough.
Photos by: Joe Mac
Interview by: BerMurder Triangle